The forbidden word.

Desire.
When a Christian single uses that word, it usually brings a "tsk tsk" and gentle, yet biting rebuke. Example: If a Christian single woman says, I desire to be in a relationship/marriage. What is the response? We've all heard or said it. It goes something like this: "Now Laura, you just have to be content in God. He'll provide a man in your life when you finally stop looking for one."
I am finally proclaiming how much I disagree with, and usually, detest that second sentence. Desire does not automatically equal lack of contentment. That line of reasoning basically states that when we as Christians desire something, God will only grant it to us when we stop desiring it. Then that means if we become unemployed, we should never look for a job. If we try but can't have a child after marriage, we should never look into adoption. If we desire an 'A' in class, we must learn to be content with a 'D'. If we feel God is calling us to a ministry, we should never search one out. By this line of reasoning, God always drops everything we desire directly into our laps, but only when we have reached the proper level of contentment in a vague "content" measuring thermometer.

I have known many girls who sincerely desired a relationship and in fact were looking for that special man, found him, and are now married to him. Does that mean they were not following God's true plan for relationships because they were looking for one? Or were they just at a better level of contentment and so God 'rewarded' them with a relationship? I don't think I'm the only one who sees the lack of Biblical truths to support that reasoning.
I am not saying that singles do not need to be content first and foremost in the Lord. I do believe that lack of contentment in God is the reason at times for singleness - God is teaching contentment outside of the opposite sex. It is an extremely important lesson to learn, because I realize that a spouse will not bring true contentment in this life, only the Lord can fill that role.
However, I also believe that God does not ask us to totally abandon all of our desires (the godly desires) in the name of "contentment." My sister said it like this: "God does not necessarily ask us to give up our desires, but rather to realize that He is worth more than those desires." It doesn't have to just be about desiring a relationship (the desire for a godly marriage is usually a good thing!); it might be desiring a child, a job, a ministry opportunity, a move closer to family - it could be any good desire that has not come to fruition in our lives. What we must come to understand is that whatever prayers we have, God answers based on what is best for His glory and our sanctification, both of which ultimately mean our best interest. God saying "wait" or "no" is not necessarily a judgemental statement, punishing us for lack of contentment or faith. Instead, He is saying "Yes" to a situation that will make us more like Him, or He is having us wait for a situation that will bring us more joy than what we originally asked for. We must keep in mind that every desire that He says "No" or "Wait," He is saying "Yes!" to something far greater.
Hannah desired to have a child for years, and finally God granted her prayer. He was not waiting until she no longer desired a child, He was waiting for the perfect time to grant her request. He said "No" for years so that when He did say "Yes," Israel would have one of the greatest prophets who ever lived during one of the most important periods of their history - the transition to the reign of human kings.

So, next time a Christian tells you that you need to learn the true meaning of contentment before God will grant your desire, keep in mind the true reason for the wait. You might be waiting to marry the next Billy Graham or Beth Moore, or you might be waiting to give birth to a future President of America. God's "no's" always lead to far greater "Yes's!"