Bathroom anyone?

So I recently had to go to a building that I had never been in before in order to meet someone whom I had never met. My excitement for this meeting was quickly overcome by the need to visit the bathroom. The problem was that I had just downed entirely way too much soda, and since this meeting could take a while, I thought it would be wise to use the restroom before the meeting. To my dismay, I realized that I could not locate a restroom. It was a 10 story building, and as I searched the ground floor, there was not a bathroom in sight. No problem, I thought, there will be one on the 5th floor, the floor that I was headed to.
So I get on and ride the very old elevator up to the fifth floor, and as soon as I exit the elevator, I sighed in relief. A bathroom!!! I march up to it, and turn the handle and push. I go nowhere. The door was locked. Great, just great. So, I wait. and wait. and wait some more. Finally, I look at my watch and realize I just have a few minutes until my meeting. I get back on the elevator and go down a floor because that would be quicker than waiting on whoever was using the 5th floor bathroom. I get to level 4 and turn the corner to discover that the bathroom is for the opposite gender. Okay, so they must be doing separate bathrooms on each level. I get back on the elevator and try to go down to level 3 to get to a bathroom I can use. The elevator door closes, and I push button for the 3rd level. Nothing happens. I push it again. The elevator stays where it is. I start to panic. You've got to be kidding. Now, not only do I have to go to the bathroom, but I am also in an elevator that won't move. At this point I was ready to scream. I start pushing other buttons, and thankfully one of them caused the elevator to start moving again. I was so thrilled I felt like kissing someone. Too bad no one guys were in the elevator with me. I come back to reality as a I glance at my watch and realize that my time was quickly running out. The elevator stops on the 2nd level. I dash onto the floor, turn the corner for the bathroom and see that the bathroom door is open with the light off. Oh good, I can finally use the bathroom, I walk in, grab the handle to pull the door shut behind me and realize.... it's the men's bathroom. Urinals were sitting there in all their glory. Totally mortified, I throw my hands up in the air and head back to the elevators. As I enter the elevator I start laughing as I think about the security guard who has watched me get on and off the elevator on every floor. I head back up to the level 5 where my meeting was, and with a minute to spare, I decide to try the bathroom door one more time. Still locked.

With a grimace and a prayer for a temporarily enlarged bladder, I headed for the meeting.

Child like.

So tonight I had the privilege of hearing a 2 and 1/2 year old say her prayers. It was short and simple.
"Jesus, help me find Jesus."


That was it, and yet, that one prayer sums up what most people attempt to do by themselves their entire lives. No person can reach God on his own. The sin barrier is too vast. It's impossible to accomplish, and yet most people will search their entire lives looking for the key to peace, heaven, and security.
Christians also fall into this. Why do we think that once we get saved we will be able to conquer the sin in our lives without the Lord's help? We try to conquer our spiritual life like the unsaved try to conquer their lives. It's foolish and impossible.


It was interesting because after she prayed, she didn't spend hours contemplating her next move or how she was going to accomplish anything. She got up and continued playing. She believed. She knew that Jesus was going to help her. That's all she needed to know to continue on. She didn't have to have proof or a step by step plan from God on how He was going to accomplish it.

No wonder Christ said to come as a child and to have child-like faith. This little girl was able to realize better than anyone that the only way to truly find the Lord is to ask Him and He will do just that...

You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
Jeremiah 29:13

Child like.

Nothingness: good or bad?

No one prepared me for this life post-college. The ups and downs- one minute believeing I can change the world, the next minute wondering when along the way I lost my mind. I knew there would be financial pressures. I knew there would be career pressures (well- assuming I have a job that is). I expected the 20 million questions about my non-married single status. What I didn't expect is that horrible and terrifying debate on the subject of "what to do with my life?" For many that question was settled in college. I thought I had answered it. I graduated with my B.S. degree and set out to change lives and thereby make my dent for Jesus in this world.

What happened instead?

I began to realize that before I could change others' lives, God must change my own. I had built safety nets for myself. God pulled them. Family, friends, finances, health. Gone. I realized with an awful eye-opening revelation how supreme God really is. I also became keenly thankful that God is a good God, and even our pain is for our best. My world was turning upside down. God was changing the game and I no longer had any tricks up my sleeve. The thing that was hardest to understand and was quite difficult to change was my life ambition. God tilted my idea of how I was to serve Him. Ever play 52 card pick up with a little brother or sister? It was as if my original life dreams scattered like a deck of cards into a random pile of chaos.

Someone once wrote that God will remove all security nets from those trying to serve Him. It's out of a person's nothingness that God is most glorified. Nothingness. I don't think there's anything I enjoy quite so fun as learning about the state of nothingness. (Yes, that was sarcasm you picked up in that previous statement.)

Yet, despite the frustration and mistakes, God has given me an end goal. It's a little fuzzy, but the general description is there. It's not going to be an easy road. Even tonight I faced doubt from well-meaning Christians, but God did not give me this burden and did not make me a soldier in this eternal battle to not follow it through. How I will reach this goal I have no idea. What my next step is, I haven't a clue. What will it take? That I think I can answer. It will require faith staring through the inconclusive evidence to the belief that God has indeed called me to this and will see me through.

Romans 4:18-22
18(Abraham)In hope he believed against hope, that he should become the father of many nations, as he had been told, "So shall your offspring be." 19 He did not weaken in faith when he considered his own body, which was as good as dead (since he was about a hundred years old), or when he considered the barrenness of Sarah’s womb. 20 No distrust made him waver concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, 21 fully convinced that God was able to do what he had promised. 22 That is why his faith was "counted to him as righteousness."