Never upon a time...

"God will not use you greatly until He has hurt you deeply."
(Dr. Jerry Falwell) When I first heard this, I was a little shocked and didn't know whether to agree or disagree. I now feel as though I am finally beginning to understand the beginning of this concept. I realize that I have not had absolutely horrible life experiences nor do I want to go through gut-wrenching heartache; what I will say, however, is that the heartache I have experienced has impassioned me for spreading the Lord's message far greater than if I had never heard it. Who is more excited about a steak dinner - the man who eats bread and cheese every day or the man who eats a steak every day? Obviously the man who never gets the steak is more excited and passionate than the man who eats it daily. I've found that the times in my own life that are hard and filled with questions and heartache are quite often, the times that ultimately allow me grow closest to God. As I grow closer to Him, I can't help but become deeply moved by His heart, and I desire to do what He wants done and help those that He points to. God then allows me to share with others and identify with their pain, so much like my own. I'm discovering that life is not a fairy tale. You don't always land the dream job and make the perfect salary and fall in love with the beautiful prince or princess according to our original ideas. Christ Himself said that we will face trials and tough times - in other words, don't expect the fairy tale!! Instead expect the icebergs.
I don't mean to imply that God is out to destroy our dreams and make life miserable. What I'm finding is that, as I fall in love with my Savior, I become more like Him, and I desire to please Him. This might mean my desires change and my idea of the perfect life radically shifts. If, then, our dreams do not come true as we first envisioned, we will be okay. We learn to rest in the faithfulness of the Lord and will realize, as I have recently, that the desires I had before the hard times have changed. God has put a deeper and greater stirring in my heart for a dream that I would have not imagined on my own.
I find that it is the hardest times in life that I see God's heart, and after seeing God's heart, God is able to truly use me. Why? Because I can not encounter God in that way and then turn and walk away. Instead, the desire to be used by God becomes my greatest desire, and that my friend, is when God gives me the desires of my heart.